I keep getting hurt.

OUCH!
I have so many injuries it is ridiculous! I hurt my right forearm the other day when I spent 2+ hours trimming our bushes. My arm knotted up and has been incredibly sore for days. I've been taking ibuprofen around the clock. Last night at my sister's house I was attacked by a hammock swing. Literally. It hurt so bad. It was one of the accidents where you want to jump right up and say "I'm OK! Really!" (Even if you aren't) but I could not get up for a couple minutes. Here is what happened...
I walked out on to Cara & Jason's deck. They got a hammock swing for Christmas but I hadn't sat in it. So I thought it would be a good idea to try it out. BAD IDEA. I got in and a few seconds later I fell to the floor. The screw had been coming loose apparently and it slipped right out of the ceiling. I fell on my butt bone. Then the wood bar and chain came falling down. I have a really sore breast bone and a knot on my head. Several people (all family) were on the deck and saw it happen. I was stunned, laying on the deck crying, with people standing over me looking down. I was so embarrassed! It of COURSE made me feel like it fell out of the ceiling because of my weight or something. I couldn't stop crying because it hurt so bad and I was embarrassed! I went into the bathroom to try and pull myself together. Andy came in a few minutes later and helped me calm down. It was awful. My butt was immediately sore and I put ice on it. Came home and took more ibuprofen and went to bed. I've been really sore today in all 3 places but I've survived! It's really hard to bend down and get back up. Once I was OK again we reminisced about all of my "accidents"...being stabbed in the foot by an ink pen, attacked by a Herbie trash can, almost broken two toes and a knee cap on different occasions by bumping into door frames in my house...etc. I think I'm clumsy.