The Glass Castle

Just finished this book yesterday. It was so good. Hard to read - it hurt my heart a lot at times. But it was really good. It is a memoir about a little girl and her family growing up in extreme poverty. It is based on a true story and is worth the read. Gives you good perspective.

So, life has been tough...

and I'm ready to talk about it. I definitely don't want to give off the impression on this blog that my life is perfect. It is far from perfect. Being fake is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine and I had a realization this week that I often try to focus on positive, happy things on the blog. Which is a good thing, but I don't anyone under the impression that our life is just perfect. So I decided it was time to come out and talk about the struggles I've been having lately. Some will be vague and others I've discussed on the blog before. I've been struggling to stay afloat and now I realize I've made goals. (I'm not a New Year's Eve Resolution kind of girl. Everybody is doing it then and most goals don't stick.) I'm a goal oriented person. I don't always stick to my goals but I am often making mental goals. So I'll share some of those too.

Parenting is tough. Three boys ages 7 and under. One with some anxiety issues and major opposition to anything mom/dad says. Another stuck in the terrible two's. One who doesn't want to do anything for himself. It is hard to always follow through with parenting threats/consequences. Kids can be manipulative. Sometimes when life is hard it is easier to give in. But I'm done. The boys have been driving me crazy and the house has been wild for too long. Too many battles. Too much whining. So I'm reading The Well Behaved Child by John Rosemond and trying some new things at home. I kind of made up my own version of some of his suggestions as I've not gotten very far in the book yet. (Don't have a whole lot of reading time!) We're just using a strike system - 3 strikes and you're out. Which means you go to your room for a pre-determined amount of time. On the past two snow days it was going to be 90 minutes in the afternoon. Neither Luke or Wilson got to strike 3. Yesterday late afternoon, Wilson got to strike 3 for the first time. I told him to go to his room and he could only come out for dinner, homework, and getting ready for bed. He sobbed. I didn't back down. He came to dinner and approached his homework like a totally different child! Wednesday nights are always hard because we get home from church around 8:20. I have 3 boys to get ready for bed alone b/c Andy isn't home then and it is always a nightmare. But tonight, I reminded the boys of the strike system. Told them if they got to strike 3 tonight then their consequences would be tomorrow afternoon/evening. It was a wonderful bedtime. Now, consistency is the key for me & Andy! One small success and I am feeling tons better in this area already.

So juggling marriage, working on communicating better with Andy, 3 children who are all BOYS!, working full time in a demanding job, keeping up with a house/laundry/cooking/etc, church, friends, on and on and on...this causes me to often feel like I'm failing. Because it is hard for me to stay afloat. I have high expectations for myself and I honestly get overwhelmed WAY too easily. I want to be able to handle everything life throws at me but I don't seem to be able to very well. I don't like to "need" others. Mostly because I don't want to bother anyone. (SEE NEXT PARAGRAPH!) I often carry that over to not relying on God as well and that won't work out so well. So I hold things in and don't talk or pray about it until I'm bursting. Working on that too.

I struggle with insecurity and am also reading Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity with my small group. I didn't realize how much I struggle with this until I started reading. I knew I had insecurities, just didn't realize how they hide under the surface to the point that you don't realize insecurity is a driving force in so many situations. God is really teaching me a lot about myself right now. Andy and I are also slowly reading Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs together. (As you can see I have mentioned 3 books I'm reading which tells you some of my goals. Plus I'm reading The Girl Who Played With Fire for by Steig Larsson - just for enjoyment!)

So. My goals in RANDOM order:
1. Consistency with my parenting. Don't let them take advantage. Be firm and consistent. I'm taking notes on my parenting book and I'll share them on the blog at some point.
2. Work on my insecurities and belive in myself. I come across as having it all together (at least I think I do!) but so often it feels as if I'm barely holding it together. :)
3. Keep reading the book with Andy and applying it to our marriage.
4. EXERCISE - for my physical and emotional health. Plus it give me time for MYSELF. I exercised yesterday for the first time in almost 6 months. When I was at the walk in clinic on Saturday the nurse said "your blood pressure is great! You must work out a lot!" I laughed. My friend also told me I had to start exercising twice a week for reasons mentioned above . My legs are so sore after the SHRED last night...
5. Somehow not let myself get so overwhelmed...not sure how to do this other than pray. And I need to do more of that anyway.
6. Borrow the book about Terrible Two's by John Rosemond from the library...not sure if that is the exact title.

That's all from my heart for now.

Random Updates

* If you show Tyler a picture of a hammer (in one of his picture books) he calls it a hamburger...hilarious! That boy always has food on his mind!
* Tyler has been asking to go to church for the past several days. I guess because we didn't have church Wednesday night due to a snow day he really missed going! He keeps saying "I go church." Tyler is so verbal. Right now he just said "I play drums." He is in the playroom playing the drums. He is a good communicator for a 2 year old!
* Wilson came down with a stomach bug at 2:30am Friday night. It was no fun. Really rough night of "sleep" for me and Andy. It must have been a 12-18 hour thing because he is just fine today! Praying no one else in the family comes down with it...so far so good.
* Bought my first book for the Kindle - "The Well Behaved Child" by John Rosemond. Read for a while yesterday while Wilson snuggled and napped next to me. Taking notes on the computer for future reference. We have a very oppositional child at home - he is NOT that way at school or when mommy/daddy aren't around. Has anyone else read this book? Some of the dicipline measures seem extreme but Rosemond knows that- he says it will nip the behaviors in the bud. It is a more traditional approach, like from the 1950's before all the pychobabble came out on the parenting front. So, still reading. But something has to change at home on the parenting front because everything with him is a STRUGGLE. It's just overwhelming and a lot to deal with on a daily basis. All the other methods and things we've tried obviously haven't worked because we are still dealing with the oppositional behavior. So maybe we do need something extreme.
* Friday night we went to 1 furniture store to look at bedroom furniture. Next time we'll go without kiddos! But it was fun to look around. I found a favorite at that store. But we want to check out some other stores too. Then we went for frozen yogurt with a gift card!

Good Reads

Here is what I've been reading the past 2-3 months. I've liked them all!

This was good- dark, slow to start, but good. Don't recommend the movie out with subtitles. I know they are remaking the movie so maybe that will be better. Haven't read book 2 or 3 yet but plan to read them!

A really good book that took me forever to get through but I really did enjoy it! It is set in Charleston, SC.

Love, love, love this book. I flew through it over break in a couple days. I'm reading book 2 right now and really enjoying it as well! This is super easy reading becuase it is juvenile literature but still really good!

Andy and I received a Kindle for Christmas from his parents. We were super surprised and very excited! I told Andy it might turn him into a reader! The Kindle is so neat! The technology is amazing. I have 10 books on my wish list from Amazon for the kindle. I'm just used to borrowing books or checking them out from the library so I'll have to fork over some money to read now...but the kindle will be fun to read on! It is so thin and light weight. Andy is reading Treasure Island right now because it was one of the free books you can download. I already have 4-5 books on my nightstand that I need to read before I let myself buy a kindle book!

A Trip to the Library

Yesterday I took the boys to the library. They love to go! It was so funny to me their unique book choices:
Wilson- all non-fiction books (surprise surprise) about: volcanoes, floods, policemen, bomb squad
Luke- Curious George (the collection), Dr. Seuss, a book about rhyming
Ty- too busy at the train table to pick any books (mommy picked 2 for him)
Me- The Memory Keeper's Daughter, 5 easy to read books for Wilson, and the George and Martha collection by James Marshall! Those were my favorite books growing up. Yesterday I saw the Collection with all of them in one book! I was so excited. So the boys are going to listen to those too!

Read This!

I started reading this a couple of weeks ago. My mom bought it for me at her church. It is SO good. I highly recommend this book! I'm only on chapter 6 and can't wait to keep reading!

New Cookbook

Cara got me this cookbook for Christmas. I read PW's cooking blog so I was thrilled to receive her cookbook! I have made 2 recipe's so far and have read the book from cover to cover. It is full of pictures and funny asides throughout. I have made potato skins and egg in a hole. I made the potato skins (recipe not on blog) for game night at Cara & Jason's. I made the egg in a hole for breakfast one morning. It was tasty! She is definitely a country cook and uses a lot of heavy cream, butter, shortening etc. I have marked at least 10 recipes to try! Many of them are found on her blog as well but I love having the book format. Thanks, Cara!

Guilty Pleasure...and other things.

I'm reading the Twilight series through for the 2nd time. I started book 3 this weekend. Every night when I crawl into bed after a long, hard day filled with children - I just smile and pull my book off my night stand and have a few minutes of happiness reading before I can't stay awake any longer...in general...10-15 minutes!! I don't know why but I really love those books and I'm not one who normally re-reads many books. I'm enjoying it even more the second time around.

How do you get a kid to stop licking their lips? Wilson does it all the time. No matter what time of year. Now that it is getting cooler, he's going to look like he's wearing lip gloss. We give him chapstick, I smear him with vaseline, and when I'm able to find the aquaphor I use that too. But the constant lip licking is what I need to remedy...

I may have posted this before. I want DVR. Television is the thing I've given up after having child #3 (well given it up after maternity leave ended!). If we had DVR I could have that set for the two shows I like to watch and then watch them whenever I have the opportunity. It's just not working for me to have to watch them when they are on. Plus I'm way behind from missing about the last 1/3 of last season. Andy's looking into cable because we're THOSE kind of people that still live in the dinosaur age without cable. It's just that we've not had it for the almost 9 years (NINE YEARS!!!) we've been married - so to add that to our budget, that's a big chunk o' money every month...how much is it after the promotions end?? Is it worth the $ when you don't watch a lot of TV?

I'm Hooked...

On the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer that is. The books are so good! But when I tell Andy about them they sound so dumb!! You have to read it to understand!! I've finished Twilight and New Moon. Now I'm reading the manuscript online of Edward's telling of Twilight. I'm about 1/2 way done. These books suck you in, they are so good! My friend Jenn, who got me hooked is bringing by book 3 today! The books are long but they are fast reads...unless you are sleep deprived and fall asleep everytime you try to read. I was skeptical at first but as I've kept reading I found myself enjoying them more and more!

Summer Reading

During the school year I don't have much time to read- I just read my Real Simple magazine and Everyday Food magazine. Occasionally I have a book I'm working on. So, in the summer I make up for not getting to read many novels. I found pics of all the books I remember reading from this summer. They were all good - but the main reason for this post is about 1 book in particular. The Shack. My mom read the book and then ordered a bunch of copies and passed them out and said "You have to read this!". So I started reading. I just finished this book last week. It's good. It is a book that will challenge what you think about God and your perceptions of who God is. It was amazing. It was not a light read - a quick read, yes, but one that really makes you think. I can't tell you much more other than you should read it! Andy is going to read it next, MIL orders and he doesn't read fiction. I'm very interested to see what he thinks and to then be able to discuss the book with him!

I'm reading Twilight now - there are 3 more books in the series (Maternity Leave!!) and then I need to continue reading Harry Potter. And watching my Friends episodes. This girl has got a plan! Remember these posts I used to do about my all time favorite show? Season 3
Season 2
Season 1

The Joys of a 3 Day Weekend!

Ahhh...a 3 day weekend. Just alleviates so much stress! I feel like I have all the time in the world this weekend! We've been busy though. Friday I went to Culver's for an after school ice-cream social. We went to just hang out for a while, great turn-out and the Twix Swirl icecream was soo good!

Wilson and I went to my school for a little while on Saturday to pick up something I'd forgotten. He had such a good time we ended up staying for over an hour. I didn't mind because I got some stuff done while he played and worked! I did lots of birthday shopping for September birthdays as well. I went to the Half Price Bookstore & Joseph Beth and got my niece, Meghan several of my old favorites (BabySitters Club, Harriet the Spy, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Hatchet, Anne of Green Gables & Little House in the Big Woods). She is an avid reader and found out today that she has read most of them already! Anyway this made me reminisce of all the books I read as a child and went to my mom's house today to get all of my old books. Wilson and I went during Luke's nap so we stayed to visit and left with maybe around 200-300 books. I have a bag full for my classroom, 4 bags for Meghan to go through, and 2 bags to take to the Half Price Bookstore to sell. It was fun to see all the old books Cara and I read! (over 50 were The Baby-Sitter's Club!)

Luke's room is slowly turning into more of his room rather than his room/our old office. Andy and I moved out our big bookcase last weekend. Today I bought him his own little bookcase and we're moving all the board books off Will's bookcase into Luke's room. I'd love to buy him a small dresser for his clothes and get rid of the changing table. I have a cedar chest I wish we could move out of his room but there is no where to put it in our current house. We're bursting at the seams! The only possibility would be moving it into the living room under the windows (which I really don't want to do). I did read on John Rosemond's website that if you want your children to get along, have them share a room! I suggested to Andy that when Luke moves out of the crib maybe we should try that idea!!

Today we went to church and out to eat to celebrate Meghan's 10th birthday, which is tomorrow! It was fun. Speaking of birthdays, last night I dreamed that I totally forgot Will's birthday and went through the entire day and Andy reminded me in the evening that it was Will's birthday. I remember being sooo upset that I hadn't remembered or made a cake. When I woke up from the dream in the middle of the night I was really upset and thought to myself "you have never forgotten his birthday and you never will..." I've been having a really hard time remembering things lately, my mind is just in a fog or something. AHHH, now I'm even dreaming about it!

Tomorrow we might go swimming and then we're having a Labor Day cookout at my maw-ma's. Really looking forward to that! I have a couple miscellaneous pictures I want to post!

This first one is a flashback to Madelyn's 4th birthday party! Jason and Cara rented a jumpy thing and my family had sooo much fun jumping in it after the party ended!



The next picture is in CELEBRATION of Caroline's new food: EGGS!!! Yippeee, she passed the food challenge on eggs this year! Caroline, you spunky thing, you just keep right on outgrowing those awful allergies, girl!! We love you!!

Nope, it's NOT all about me!

Andy and I love our church. Why, you might ask? Well for starters it has an awesome praise band with guitars, drums, piano etc. Good music is crucial for me! Andy and I have both been at the church for a long time (since 5th grade for me). But most importantly, our Pastor leads us to focus on others. In our world today it is "all about me". Today in the sermon a video was shown called Me Church. It was hilarious! You can watch a preview of it here. It's nice to be reminded to be other minded in a world that is so self absorbed. Because it IS easy to start thinking that life is all about me. The world puts that idea in our face all the time. Last summer I read a great book that Andy had read for work or school. It is called Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by The Arbinger Institute. It really got me thinking and I underlined tons of good points. It's a good and easy read, I recommend it! Anyway, it is about being other minded as well.
I was just reading this once before I posted and paused at my sentence "good music is crucial for me!" - does that negate the rest of my post?!!