March 3, 2008


(Andy you may want to skip this one! A little hostility. I only say this because you didn't like the picture post.)
Written post panic attack after today's meeting.


Why does the National Board process have to be so HUGE??
Why does it cause undue stress?
Why are some people ALREADY done with their portfolios??
Why has it caused me to have 2 panic attacks?


1. So you can work your butt off, yet again, to prove that you are good at what you do. It's the teaching profession, people.
2. The people at National Board want to make the process so overwhelming and specific just so you can be stressed. "NO, you idiot, don't paper clip pages 1, 2 and 3 in order. Paper clip pages 3, 45, 32, 1 in order. Duh!"
3. Because they have been totally committed since last January to get done way ahead of time. Or because they don't have two small children, a husband, an intern, a student teacher, a team in training, an EDC student, a small group, any friends, or maybe, just maybe, no life.
4. Because I get easily overwhelmed. Because there seemed to be a lot of people at the meeting DONE with the portfolio. Because one of the men in charge said "Everyone is done videotaping by now, right?" UHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, I know this was voluntary. I'll be glad in the end, when it is done and I can take a deep breath. The National Board people on the hotline are really nice and helpful. I have a great mentor and a wonderful NB certified team teacher helping me (Thanks, Jenn!). I'm the one who didn't start writing entries until October. I work better under some pressure. But not this much pressure. Everyone I have met seeking NB Certification is nice and they have a life. Last one: I have issues. Honestly. I was fine during the meeting. I walked out of there and my eyes filled up with tears. I tried to call Jenn, since she's been through this whole thing before. Then I ended up talking to my mom who answered the phone to me hyperventilating (practically). As soon as she answered I said "mom, it's me. I'm ok, I'm just really upset." So she talked to me and calmed me down so when I got home and walked into my house I was smiling and happy for my sweet boys. Thanks, mom!


Cara said...

You can do it! You've already got a lot done and you can make it!

Boo said...

I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone! You're almost done and you're doing great!!! Just a little longer and it will all be finished and when you pass it will be totally worth it!

Anonymous said...

Do you drink wine? Maybe you should . . . a little anyway! Just kidding. You are doing great. Just relax a little bit! Call if you need to scream! Love ya!