January 10, 2009
My little Ty
Ok. So I'm still very thankful that Ty's birthmark isn't causing serious complications. But over the last couple days the whole Port wine stain is really bothering me. To me it is noticeable and I just have this fear that as he gets older if it stays the way it is now then he'll be made fun of or teased. He is so precious and sweet and so handsome. But kids are mean. If he has a bright pink side to his face he will be made fun of. I don't think I'll handle that well. I don't want him to be self conscious or think that he is unattractive. Maybe my worry is for nothing and it will fade. But I can't stop thinking that as he gets older what life will be like for him. What will go through his mind? Kids are self conscious enough without having something that noticeable. I know many of you will say it's not dark. But at home there are days that Andy and I say to each other "it's dark today" or when he is crying/eating/working hard and it darkens it is really noticeable. I think he is perfect and precious but I just want him to be confident in who he is and not avoided or made fun of because kids think he is "different". How do you handle something like this and not just think about it and worry about it? I'm ok, I just want to know that he's going to be ok and be able to handle whatever comes his way. Will it be every time that I tell him he is cute/handsome etc in his mind he's thinking he's not just because of his birthmark? Am I being ridiculous? My anxiety is pretty evident in this post. But I needed to get it off my chest. Sorry for the randomness of my thoughts!